People are shocked when I respond “mutual friends.” How could a girl in her early 20s be friends with people in their late 30s?Well, I was (and still am) friends with a select crew of musicians and creatives in Los Angeles, and my boyfriend happened to be a part of that scene.While you figure out the math, let me be clear that I’ve met several other women in their early- to mid-20s who also prefer to date from a much older pool for various reasons.
(Spoiler alert: I wasn’t.) Introducing him to your family won’t be easy.I was dead nervous to reveal my boyfriend’s age to my parents, so much so that I stalled introducing them for six months.This alone is a reason why I refuse to go back into the dating pool with guys my own age. When I’m out, the guys I seem to attract are generally in their mid- to late-30s. To find out why, I asked a straight twentysomething male friend, who pointed out that younger guys are simply intimidated.After all, going up to a total stranger in a bar and making an impression isn’t easy, and it takes a certain amount of confidence, which often comes with age.From what I’ve gathered, a man in his 20s is more likely to blow his cash on frivolous things, while men in their 30s and are likely to save money for the future or for experiences, like a romantic vacation (wink, wink). “He texted me an hour after I texted him.” “What should I text him back? I can still remember the days when I’d utter those words and essentially have an anxiety attack every time my phone buzzed and it was a guy my own age I’d been casually seeing.
When I first started dating my boyfriend, it threw me off when he didn’t text me, but—wait for it— instead.
I can recall numerous situations—work issues, arguments with people—that my boyfriend was able to help me with based on his own mistakes and victories.
Plus, when it comes to things like taxes, real estate, and life hacks that you pick up over time, an older guy can be a goldmine of useful information. I dated a guy right before my boyfriend who was really … I’m the kind of girl who looks up to independent women, and I tend to put my girlfriends before dating.
In general, there’s a stigma that a younger woman dates an older man because he’s more powerful and can essentially take care of her.
And while that may be true for some, a 2010 study by the University of Dundee in Scotland found that as women become more financially independent, their taste may skew toward older (and better-looking) men. As a woman becomes more confident in her own career and finances, she seeks a partner who matches that, which often is not a 25-year-old guy.
To be clear, my boyfriend isn’t rich, but he’s picked up one important habit over the years: investing.