Perhaps it seems silly for me to write about "younger men", given that the age difference in my situation was not so significant – but if I received the backlash I did, then I can't even imagine the flack women much older than me, dating men much younger than them, are hit with, when all they want is to find someone with whom things feel right.I'd never been open to dating younger men - at all - until I met this person.
Of course, you can have a relationship with a person of any age, but maybe you don’t know what you’re looking for, or you notice the dates that feel most comfortable or promising are with guys that are younger than you.Or you’re a young man who feels drawn to older women.This is especially pronounced during formative teenage years, but once we get into our twenties, does it really matter?Some of my most disastrous romantic affairs have been with men five years older who still behave like emotionally stunted children.I didn't know why then, but when I look back I can see that it was all about keeping with what we'd been taught was the status quo.
We'd been raised to think that a man should be the head of the household, the main breadwinner, someone we girls had to look up to and respect. * Three dating mistakes women 50 and older make * The most ridiculous (unsolicited) advice ever given to single women * Kiwi women urged to forget romance, get in the driver's seat and 'date like a dude'Scientists have suggested that this inbuilt proclivity for older men is evolutionary – that women are drawn to the "alpha male" who is wiser, older, more experienced and powerful.Wouldn't it make sense, then, that he'd be older, too – richer in life experience, to guide us through our lives? It's a clear parallel with the idea that the male partner should be taller than the woman – which, as Tracey Spicer wrote last week, is a result of unconscious bias that subtly reinforces gender stereotypes and expectations.There was always talk, too, of the idea that men mature at a slower rate than women.For many men, a woman in a position of power is a normal, familiar circumstance can help younger men be eager, open, willing and appreciative of the wisdom, the guidance and decisive nature that mature, successful women can offer.When you’re a successful woman who gravitates toward younger men, it may be because you find in them, a non-defensive willingness to absorb what you can provide.I struggle, too, to prescribe to this idea when it's profoundly steeped in archaic gender essentialism.