While there is a natural rhyme and rhythm to when one meets friends, family and others in the course of a relationship, there can also be a level of exclusivity that can feel stifling or unbalanced. In fact, overly exclusive relationships where partners don’t want to include others are a hallmark characteristic of abusive relationships.No one is there to witness it when your boyfriend is putting you down, treating you poorly, or being disrespectful.
It’s natural that the speed of relationships progress as a function of many factors, one of them being age. On average however, dating in the later 20s to early 30s tends to make it somewhat more socially acceptable to ask these more serious questions earlier on. If you think he’s not emotionally invested, there is a good chance he’s not.Many times in the heat of an argument one partner might throw out the “let’s end it now” card. At their most basic level, they involve setting your ego aside.You ask him any iteration of relationship check-up questions and he’s either unsure, needs more time, or tables the topic entirely.It’s completely fair to ask if he sees long-term potential in the relationship, his view on commitment and marriage, and other “big picture” questions.And seeing through the rose-colored glasses of love, you don’t see any differently either. Which is why you need someone to help check your vision.
Whether it is a friend, a sibling, or other acquaintance, it can be helpful to include a larger community in your relationship for the purposes of safety and balance.The idea that a familiarity and ease can build between your “good night” and “how’s your day” text messages can be false. ” It’s one thing to be in constant communication and have superficial conversations.It’s another to know one’s motivations, thoughts, and feelings.Yet this desire can cloud our judgment and lead to poor choices.It can even feel like too much work starting over with someone new.Is he willing to truly open himself up and share his life story?