“Merging your two lives without making time and space for your individual lives often results in one of you waking up a few months down the line thinking, ‘Who the heck is this person next to me and where the heck have gone? Nothing compares with the heady rush of emotions in those early days of a relationship, but don’t get those feelings mixed up with love, said Moshe Ratson, a marriage and family therapist in New York City.
“Many people confuse the word ‘love’ with ‘in love,’” Ratson told us.
“Sometimes people connect with another person quickly and feel so relieved that they’re not alone that they rush to make it more permanent,” Howes said.
“But the fear of being alone can gloss over many shortcomings in a relationship and lead to disappointment later on.” If you’ve experienced a breakup, focus instead on rebuilding your relationship with yourself and “learning to turn loneliness into solitude, which is like loneliness’ much stronger cousin,” Howes said.
Below, therapists around the country offer seven telltale signs that you need to slow down and let things evolve a little more organically.
Let’s start with the painfully obvious: If you’re fresh out of a long-term relationship and looking for love from a place of loneliness, you probably need to slow things down, said Ryan Howes, a psychologist in Pasadena, California, and co-creator of the Mental Health Boot Camp.
Fast covers leadership and innovation in business, environmental and social issues, entertainment and marketing, and, through its Co. For their Most Innovative Companies feature, Fast Company assesses thousands of businesses to create a list of 50 companies it considers the most innovative.
Design site, the intersection of business and design, from architecture to electronics, consumer products to fashion. The Fast Company Innovation Festival is an event hosted in New York City each year since 2015.Fast Company also previously operated sites called Co. In 2017, 10,000 attendees attended keynotes, workshops, and Fast Tracks hosted in corporate offices centered on design, technology, social good, leadership, entrepreneurship, and creativity.How do you know if you’ve rushed the process of falling in love?“An intimate relationship should have a natural pace and evolution,” he said.“So, living together too soon can be unfavorable if you want the relationship to develop in a healthy manner.The protocols and practices of dating, and the terms used to describe it, vary considerably from country to country and over time.