Amongst the various prospects was a normal looking guy with a sparse and non-comittal profile. I am pretty much a redheaded Beyoncé, minus the fact I don’t do anything but eat Nutella and watch Netflix. I came to a very important realization: Dating was not for me. I would replace intimacy and male companionship with someone that was much easier to cultivate, control, and enjoy: Gardening. I purchased an SUV full of herbs, vegetables, flowers, soil, rakes, and various other things that looked like a gardener should purchase.He seemed way too stable for me, but he’d traveled overseas by himself so I gave him my number. He was incredibly bad at it, like epically lacking in game. How dare you suggest that I’m the crazy one in our potential dating situation? I was ready to be hip and single and green thumbed unto the end of my days. I’d had a couple adult beverages and was high on fertilizer and topsoil so I went ahead and typed out a reply.You might then say: I think caution like that is fine, but I don’t think a background check is the only solution.
However, I do get questions on this from readers and it’s clear to me that many people wouldn’t be comfortable with the idea of dating online without background checks.Because of that, I wanted to talk about my thoughts on background checks and what I would recommend when people contact me about using them.Bringing up the fact that you ran a background check early on could be a great way to kill a new relationship.So I’d avoid bringing up the fact that you ran a background check on them.When I was dating online, I didn’t use background checks.
I’m definitely not against them; I just personally never felt the need to use them.
Generally, when someone contacts me about doing background checks it follows this pattern: At this point, these people believe that the initial emailing means that they’ve reached the point to use a background check.
I’m not saying that approach is wrong…but it could end up costing a lot of money (especially if you communicate with many people at once like I recommend).
However, for many people, the timing I describe above is friendlier to their bank account without sacrificing much in the way of staying safe.
Online dating has a price tag and adding any additional money to that is more than some of us are able to do.
With that in mind, I’d recommend becoming friends on Facebook as a free, if not perfect, background check.