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I didn't like the real-estate agent, who later got me into a bidding war on that worthless hulking edifice, and I didn't ponder it much longer. Mostly because, for some reason that I can no longer fathom, I believed in a world where real estate, even semi-crumbling late-20th-century real estate in a perpetually depressed housing market, was the only really good bet to make with my money. But in the fourth week, she lent me the key to her condominium in Gulf Shores, Alabama. The next time was when I was about to get a divorce.
But I've always wondered if it was an offer on her part. I was too young to understand that when someone gives you a key, any key — a car, an apartment, a mailbox — they are, with that very gesture, attaching a string. Then she told me to make a copy, then she let me drive down there on weekends. With me separated for three weeks, a female friend of mine sat on my porch and outlined a physical contract between us, using the very term "no strings attached." I'd known this woman for seven years, nothing untoward between us whatsoever until that moment.
These are the guys in romantic comedies who tend to populate the couch of the male protagonist's apartment.